A new bride shares her 5 life lessons

I learned a little something when I planned my own wedding recently. I discovered that instead of making the wedding into an event that has to be the most elaborate and elegant affair of the year, focus on the people. Life isn’t a fairy tale and you can’t always get everything you want, but in the end, you get the prince (and your friends and your family). And that’s what really matters.

Here are my five favourite life lessons:

Be the guest of honour

I had to fight the need to express my own opinions and my own wish-list about my bridal shower. Give friends and family a chance to show that they can come through for you. A shower is a gift from them to you, so back off!

Be aware of others’ finances

I discovered that friends don’t have an open cheque book. Forget ideas inspired by the lifestyles of Sex and the City. Not everyone can fi nance an excursion to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party or afford an expensive attendant’s gown.

Dress your friends for success

I found that it cemented our friendship when I took into account the feelings and figures of my bridesmaids. After all, they’re paying for their shoes and dress and want to feel lovely, too. So we finally negotiated colour and style.

Accept gifts gracefully

Okay, so your Aunt Jean knits you a quilt in disastrous colour combinations. But it’s hand-made and it’s your aunt’s way of saying “I love you.” (And now you have a family heirloom to pass on to future generations.) Not everyone will use your gift registry, but your job is to thank everyone with love and warmth, regardless of whether you like the gift.

Thank you, attendants

You will want to say thank you to your bridesmaids with a gift. There are the traditional gifts like jewellery, but I finally decided to fi nd gifts based on their individual lifestyle. A stressed-out friend might be given a spa treatment. Or a friend who loves martinis might be given a fun set of martini glasses. I found it worthwhile to match the gift to the friend and it paid off. My bridesmaids loved what they received.


Bottom Line: People are more important than stuff. More important than the perfect menu, the perfect gown, the perfect environment. What matters are the memories based on the love and interaction of friends and family. That’s what the day is all about.